How Faith & Hope works together

I so longed to see my children once again after they were took from me by the State of Tennessee. Why? Because I allow a man to control me and use me for whatever to please his needs and I neglect my children from true motherly love and guidance. Not a day went by did I not think of them and missed them dearly. Wondering what they were doing and who was caring for them and all that comes from being a mother deep down inside. Do I regret what happened? Yes I do! But I cannot change what was done and I learned from it dearly. Right now, I can say that my life is slowly falling back into place. How? After 12 long years and doing 10 years of it in the penitentiary, I never gave up of ever seeing my children, I wanted to see my oldest first and work my way down to my youngest daughter. NOW! I have found my son on October 30, 2009 and was able to speak to him on October 31, 2009 for the first time in over 12 years. I was so full of emotions and at the same time nervous for I didn't know what to expect out of my now 18 year old. He was troubled and was in a group home. He was going through so much that I could hear it in his voice and all I could do was thank "God" for this opportunity. So much was said and talked about in a very short time but still I never gave up, which then I was actually pushing him away from me. You never really know what to say or do in a situation as this but I prayed and from the guidance of other prayer warriors I was able to let go and let God deal with this issue. Still I never gave up on my young man who is always my baby! He was going through some hard issues and at the same time he didn't know what to believe and I don't blame him at all. He left his adoptive home for the streets at age 12 and was looking for me since. The State of Tennessee case worker told him that he had to wait till he was 18 years of age to know anything about me. Still after he turned 18 they gave him another run around! He was about to give up his search for his birth mother and the love that only his mother could give him. Then out of no where, here I called him and talked to him to let him know that I love him no matter what and that I was proud of him in everything. A mother's love is unconditional and that reminds me of my Father's love to me, unconditional! When you search within yourself you know that you have what it takes to be the best that you can be in the eyes of our Lord. HIS ways are way better than my ways! After waiting a couple of months to see what plans my son had for him self he finally decided to move on down here to Florida. I was not going to hold my breath on that till I was able to wrap my arms around him and know that this is the day the Lord truly blessed me with my son once again! I am saying to all that no mater where your children are and what they are doing, the parent & child bond is never broken. More so with mother & child for we gave birth to our children and they know that they are complete with knowing where they came from and who they are. Now that my son is living here with me I still pray over him daily and will not cease till the day the Lord takes me. I am very blessed for that I have one of my children near me and it is going to be one day at a time and I know in my heart that I will see my daughters as well. My son, Christopher is 19 and he is going to be a pro in boxing. He had is first fight in the Golden Gloves in Punta Gorda on March 27, 2010. It was something else to see my child in that ring and knowing that he is a strong young man and will make his dreams come true knowing that his mother is always by his side no matter what! Thank you Lord for allowing me to go through the things that I did for it made me a better woman and a woman of God. Without YOU I am nothing but with YOU I am a Child of GOD and will make it through this journey till the end. Never give up Hope or Faith in the Lord for HE will make all your dreams come true. To all my children that I dearly love: Christopher, Cheyenne, & Chrasina... And to my ex-step children: Joshua May you all know that GOD loves you first before you were ever thought of and you were not a mistake but a creation that was allowed to be for a reason & a purpose in this life that we call a journey. Be blessed and never settle for less than God's best for you and yours!

Reaching out to help lift up others!

I feel that when one is not getting a positive word from someone there is a void within that makes you feel different from others. You may think that you have it bad from the next person till you really search the other person and see that they have it much worst than you. We all have problems in life and some deal with it better than others.
I can say that life for me right now is fine for I want to let the past be the past and move forward as I have been doing and knowing that my strength is from the Lord above. I feel others pain when they tell me about their journey in life and I try to help lift them up because we will always be God's servents and try to help our Brother and Sister that is in need.
Life is too short to waste and we need to live life as if it is our last days! Be thankful that you have family, friends, or that someone that will hold your hand when no one else seems to care. Lets help make someone around you smile and know that you care. Never go to bed without telling someone that you care about them or even tell them that you love them, because tomorrow isn't promised to us and you never know what tomorrow holds.
I recently lost my step-dad and to think that I was a blessing to him and made a difference in his life is very hard to say for he not once told me "I love you" or "that he was proud of me". It's too late for all that now but I hear it from others that he has spoken to before he left this world and how am I to know what was he thinking before he took his last breath? I miss him even though he was hard to understand sometimes by the way he wanted things to be under his terms and his ways. I only got close to him in this past year as I was also his care taker and his step-daughter. I will not forget the day that I told him that life is too short to worry about the past and to know that Jesus in me made me who I am today and that I love him for him no matter what! He stood there looking at me in tears and cried, well shed a tear, and I could see in his eyes that he understood where I was coming from because the stress of life itself will and can kill you because it is a known fact that stress kills! To worry about the small things in life isn't worth loosing your life over. I told him that if he were to leave this world today and everything that was here would still be here and not gone with him. He said that he understands what I was talking about. But who really knows but God our Creator who made Heaven and Earth!
I pray every day for the world and the people that I know and for the people that cross my path. I don't want to leave any one out for you never know when someone is going to leave us. It happen to me so sudden and now I wonder so many things. God only know when and where and everything else about life and we need to appreciate it to the fullest!
I love everyone and I do pray for everyone and even for those that don't even think that I would put it pass them. With God in my life and changed me around that is what I want to share unto others to see the person that I am today and not about my past. Be blessed and stay encouraged for we are by reason and it happened to be that you came across my path! I LOVE YOU! ~Me